Lingering
Hey! Hello! Good Evening Love!
Today was interesting that is for sure. I went for my first real long walk all by myself. I walked 10K Steps with Baby. We met a lot of interesting things. Dogs, Children, Teens, Adults, Elders. Everyone. I was a little nervous at first. I never went on walks without someone with me. But today was different, I was a little annoyed. Ever so slightly. Having started my moon time and all this morning.
I needed to get out of my house, I needed to escape from all the negative feels. I hate that this was my retaliation to something so small. But to be honest, it was blown out of proportion because I didn't look at my phone right away. By then, I just wanted to go out. And it was sunny. And I haven't taken Baby on a good walk in ages. It was a good time of day because the Park was jam packed with a lot of friendly people.
Now, my feet hurt, and Baby is tired. And I am sitting here trying to fight off my growing headache. Maybe I am dehydrated? I am not entirely sure yet. But I will figure it out soon.
My bitterness is almost gone, however I still feel it linger. But at least I am starting to just let go of any harsh feelings or lonely feelings that I may be experiencing. The only person making me miserable is myself. I know everyone is trying to help me and be a comforting friend. And I really appreciate it.
So, while I was taking Baby out for our first walk of many. We encountered another dog momma with a human baby strapped to her chest. She had two other dogs with gentle leads on their heads. She complimented Babys good behavior and that I was doing a wonderful job training her. I was so happy I almost started crying. I am constantly worried that I am not doing enough to make her listen.
And then later on I start getting many compliments on her being beautiful and in excellent health. A lot of people liked her Camo Jacket as well. My poor mood was improving because I was constantly being reassured that I am taking really good care of my dog.
Although I was getting all these reassuring things said to me, and was being complimented as well. I couldn't help but feel like I don't deserve all the credit. I am not the only one whose raised Baby into the dog she is. I am going to have to share some of this praise because it doesn't all belong to me. I just happened to be the only one there to receive it. But c'est la vie.
I found out today that Baby is scared of Suitcases. That was weird. Maybe its just a bad memory associated with them. Who knows.
Other than being tired and a tad bit sore today, I feel fantastic. I feel I should continue working on going on long walks everyday if I am not too busy. And I hear that the weather is warming up. Which is going to be fantastic. I will be able to get out more.
You know when you get the feeling of missing that hug and kiss? Well, even though I am always ignoring it. Today I really miss it. I miss hearing/reading the "I love you's" I almost forgot what those looked like. Two weeks and a half feel like forever ago. I just can't shake that lingering feeling every time I stand by my front door as I watch my dog go bathroom. And as exhausting it is for everyone to read from me. I am sorry, but please don't judge me. It will take time. I will get over it. Just be patient with me. For now, I am just riding through the emotions. I will get there.
Did anyone know I have a terrible stuttering problem when I am excited or sad? Well now you know. I mean as a child I had a bad stutter. But that was because I was unbelievably shy.
Anyways, talk to you tomorrow!
Todays song recommendations!
"Stuttering(Kiss Me Again)" - Ben's Brothers
"On Call" - Kings Of Leon
Today was interesting that is for sure. I went for my first real long walk all by myself. I walked 10K Steps with Baby. We met a lot of interesting things. Dogs, Children, Teens, Adults, Elders. Everyone. I was a little nervous at first. I never went on walks without someone with me. But today was different, I was a little annoyed. Ever so slightly. Having started my moon time and all this morning.
I needed to get out of my house, I needed to escape from all the negative feels. I hate that this was my retaliation to something so small. But to be honest, it was blown out of proportion because I didn't look at my phone right away. By then, I just wanted to go out. And it was sunny. And I haven't taken Baby on a good walk in ages. It was a good time of day because the Park was jam packed with a lot of friendly people.
Now, my feet hurt, and Baby is tired. And I am sitting here trying to fight off my growing headache. Maybe I am dehydrated? I am not entirely sure yet. But I will figure it out soon.
My bitterness is almost gone, however I still feel it linger. But at least I am starting to just let go of any harsh feelings or lonely feelings that I may be experiencing. The only person making me miserable is myself. I know everyone is trying to help me and be a comforting friend. And I really appreciate it.
So, while I was taking Baby out for our first walk of many. We encountered another dog momma with a human baby strapped to her chest. She had two other dogs with gentle leads on their heads. She complimented Babys good behavior and that I was doing a wonderful job training her. I was so happy I almost started crying. I am constantly worried that I am not doing enough to make her listen.
And then later on I start getting many compliments on her being beautiful and in excellent health. A lot of people liked her Camo Jacket as well. My poor mood was improving because I was constantly being reassured that I am taking really good care of my dog.
Although I was getting all these reassuring things said to me, and was being complimented as well. I couldn't help but feel like I don't deserve all the credit. I am not the only one whose raised Baby into the dog she is. I am going to have to share some of this praise because it doesn't all belong to me. I just happened to be the only one there to receive it. But c'est la vie.
I found out today that Baby is scared of Suitcases. That was weird. Maybe its just a bad memory associated with them. Who knows.
Other than being tired and a tad bit sore today, I feel fantastic. I feel I should continue working on going on long walks everyday if I am not too busy. And I hear that the weather is warming up. Which is going to be fantastic. I will be able to get out more.
You know when you get the feeling of missing that hug and kiss? Well, even though I am always ignoring it. Today I really miss it. I miss hearing/reading the "I love you's" I almost forgot what those looked like. Two weeks and a half feel like forever ago. I just can't shake that lingering feeling every time I stand by my front door as I watch my dog go bathroom. And as exhausting it is for everyone to read from me. I am sorry, but please don't judge me. It will take time. I will get over it. Just be patient with me. For now, I am just riding through the emotions. I will get there.
Did anyone know I have a terrible stuttering problem when I am excited or sad? Well now you know. I mean as a child I had a bad stutter. But that was because I was unbelievably shy.
Anyways, talk to you tomorrow!
Todays song recommendations!
"Stuttering(Kiss Me Again)" - Ben's Brothers
"On Call" - Kings Of Leon